Bound 2 - Carters 1st Year
by breakingbeckett
Summary: Carters first year of life. This will be full of family fluff, and moments between Rick and Kate as well as their children.
1. Chapter 1

**After a short hiatus from this universe to work on another fic I couldn't help myself, I needed to be writing this story again. This story won't have any major plot, mostly just family moments and a fluffiness. **

**Chapter One**

Kate woke up a little after seven, to whimpers coming from outside their bedroom. She opened her eyes to see Rick walking into their bedroom, their six week old son tucked safely between his arm and chest.

"Someone is hungry I think." He smiled down at his fiancé, "I already changed his diaper, but his puckered lips are insinuating he might be looking for his mommy."

She laughed as she sat up, lifting her shirt up over her head, revealing her bare chest. Castle gently laid the baby in her arms, and he knew what was going on. His head was swiftly moving around as he searched for her nipple, and she placed it in his mouth, helping him get comfortable as he began to suckle.

"He was really hungry, weren't you bud?" Kate whispered to him as she swept her hand over her sons head.

"I love that you just get completely naked when you feed him." Castle laughed.

"It's easier, and it's not like I have anything to hide, we are in the privacy of our bedroom."

"Yeah, well I think I'm gonna go take a cold shower, get myself under control." He teased as he headed towards the bathroom.

It had been six weeks since her son was born, and today was her post-natal appointment. She had to fight Castle off once last week, when he had a little too much eggnog, but other then that he had been pretty good. She looked down at her precious baby boy as he continued to eat. She had never thought of herself as a maternal person at all, but things had changed over the last year. Meeting Castle, who already had a small child, and then getting pregnant had turned her life around.

She noticed that the baby had stopped suckling on her breast so she switched him to the other side and he started up again. His eyes were drooping almost as if he was about to fall back to sleep when Castle came out of the bathroom and startled him when he flung himself down on the bed to watch the baby eat. Carter immediately started to scream and Kate glared at Rick.

"Sorry I was just trying to watch." He apologized as he ran his hand over the babys arm.

"Yeah well could you be a little softer next time. He was almost asleep Rick."

"It was an accident, sorry." He got up and went into the closet to get dressed.

Kate stood up and helped Carter latch back on as she slowly rocked him back and forth; before Rick was done dressing Carter was asleep.

"See." He said as he walked out of the closet, "No harm done."

"We have a baby in the house now, things just need to be calmer, I don't want him to be stressed."

Rick leaned in and captured her mouth, running his tongue over her bottom lip as he let go. "I love when you go all mother hen on me, but he's fine."

"Oh you love mother hen?" she laughed, "Gosh it's so weird that I'm a mommy now."

"Weird? You had 9 months to prepare."

Rick sat down on the edge of the bed to slide his socks on.

"Yeah but it wasn't real until I held him, and this.." She pointed down to the baby still nuzzled against her bare chest. "This is the craziest thing ever, he can survive solely on my breast milk."

"Yeah, it is a little odd isn't it? I mean I wish I could survive off your breast."

"Oh, shut up. Here, take him so I can get showered and ready for my appointment."

"Oh that is today isn't it?" Rick softly took the sleeping baby from her arms.

"Like you didn't have a countdown on your phone. Just because the doctor gives me the all clear doesn't mean you're getting lucky tonight Rick."

"I know, and it's not like I can persuade you with a nice glass of red wine either if you know what I mean." He winked as he walked out of the bedroom.

She shook her head as he left. Even though she warned him that she might not be ready to resume their intimacy, she was really just teasing him. She couldn't wait to get that part of them back. She had felt ready for a few weeks now, and even though she read online that most women started back before the six weeks, she wanted to wait it out. She wanted to make sure she was fully healed and on birth control. No chances were being taken at another surprise baby. She loved Carter, but two kids was enough for now. She wanted to finish school and get married and then they could plan the next pregnancy.

Xx

"Well Kate, you've healed great and it looks like you haven't gone against the 6 week rule which is very rare for me to see." The doctor laughed as threw away her gloves and started to write on Kate's patient form.

"So.. sex is back on the table, my fiancé will be very pleased to hear that."

"I'm sure he will. I would recommend you invest in a little lube, things don't go back to complete normalcy after having a baby, not for a while anyways. You might even be a little sore the first few times, until your body adjust."

"Lube? Really? We've never needed help in that department before."

"Yeah well, your body was also not recovering from pushing out a 7 pound baby before."

Kate looked down to the baby sleeping in his car seat. "Yeah, you're right. So can you insert the iud today so that I am protected immediately? I mean, I love my son, but I want to wait a while until I have another."

"yeah of course that's something we can do today. It starts working immediately, and you aren't ovulating anyway so I don't think there is any immediate chance of pregnancy."

"Okay."

Xx

When Kate got home, Alexis and Rick were watching tv. She took Carter into their room and put him down in his bassinet before making her way back to the kitchen to get a snack.

Rick snuck up behind her and slid his arms around her stomach, attacking her neck with kisses. "We get the all clear?"

"Rick…."

"What? I need to know when my wooing can start."

"So you only want to woo me when you know you're getting some…. How romantic."

"No, I just don't want to get you or myself riled up when I know that sex isn't on the table. I've had my share of blue balls in the last 6 weeks or so."

"Oh god." She pulled his arms from around her waist and escaped to the fridge.

"I'm assuming that's a no for sexy time. Well, I have an old college buddy that is in town and wanted to know if I would get a drink with him this evening. Would that be okay with you? I'd be home at a decent hour I promise."

"What time is a decent hour to you?" she asked, pulling the carton of strawberries out of the fridge.

"Whenever my fiancé wants me home…." He shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't care. Go, have fun with your friend."

"You really don't mind?"

"Nope. You could probably use a break. You've been cooped up with me and a newborn for 6 whole weeks."

"So you aren't going to get mad at me if I come home late?"

"No, I'm not going to be mad at you Rick, unless you plan on doing something you know I wont approve of." She turned to look at him, an almost threatening look on her face.

"I wouldn't dream of doing anything you wouldn't approve of." He placed a kiss on her cheek, and she grabbed his hand as he started to walk away, pulling him back in for a deeper kiss.

"mmmmmm." He moaned as they broke apart, "I have missed those kinds of kisses."

"You'll be getting them more often now that I know everything is fully healed."

"So you're saying we can." He nodded towards the bedroom.

"The doctor said everything was fine, but I still want it to be on my terms."

"Of course." He nodded profusely, a smile splayed across his face.

"I'm serious Rick, I just don't know if I'm ready yet."

"You act like we've never had sex before. What's the big deal?"

The baby started to cry from the other room so Kate started to take off towards their bedroom, Rick grabbed her hand, stilling her so she couldn't escape the conversation.

"If something is wrong Kate, you need to tell me."

"I'm just nervous okay, I mean I just pushed a baby out of there, I'm scared it's going to be different for you."

"Different for me?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, "I have to get the baby."

"No, he can cry for a few minutes, he'll be fine."

"Stop Rick, I just don't want to do it yet." She jerked her arm away and started off towards the bedroom again to get the baby.

Rick stood at the kitchen counter for a minute before deciding if he didn't push the conversation now he might not get another chance to find out what was really going on. So he made his way to the bedroom, walking in as Kate took her shirt off to feed Carter.

"Kate, I love you, you know that right?"

She looked up at him and simply nodded.

"and making love to you will always be special to me, and I'll always take care of you."

"Rick, I know that. I…" She paused. "The doctor told me things would be different, and that we should probably use lube, and It just makes me really nervous. I don't want it to hurt, and I don't want you to feel like you can't turn me on. Because I want to have sex with you, but at the same time my sex drive is just not there right now. I wanted to plan something romantic for tonight, and now I'm chickening out, I'm scared."

"Scared of what? That it will hurt? We can use lube and we can go really slow. A lot of foreplay might be necessary."

"I'm scared of a lot of things. I don't want to feel different to you now that I've had a baby, and i…"

"Wow. Stop right there. Kate you and I are going to get married, and we are going to have a few more of those down the road I'm sure. Your body is going to change a little bit, but those changes are not something I will ever be worried about. I want to make love to you because I love you, and there is nothing that will change that."

"I know, but you're not the one that's insecure, I am."

"I understand that, but as your partner it's my job to make sure that you know that you are the most beautiful, perfect person in my eyes."

"You do make me feel beautiful babe, it's not that."

"I just want you to be comfortable Kate, and if that means we have to wait a while, then I'll wait. It might be very impatiently." He laughed, gaining a grin from her as well. "But, I'll wait."

"You aren't going to go searching elsewhere tonight, right?"

"I'm gonna let that slide and hope you're joking."

"No, I'm not, I don't want you to get bored with me, or tired of waiting."

"Kate, if we never have sex again, I still would never cheat on you."

"You promise."

"Yes, I promise babe." He took a seat next to her and placed a kiss on her shoulder as she rocked the baby back and forth to calm him down.

Xx

Rick met his college buddy Brett at the Old Haunt at seven and by 10 o'clock they were both wasted.

"Brett, I should really get out of here."

"Oh, don't do that to me Ricky, I haven't seen you in two years and you're trying to run out on me before midnight, the night is still young."

"I have a fiancé at home, and two kids bud."

"Yeah, your fault, not mine." Brett teased as he downed another shot of whiskey.

"She's perfect."

"Who? The fiancé?"

"Yeah the fiancé, she is amazing, and beautiful… God she is so beautiful."

"So this ones the real deal, not some girl you got pregnant."

"Well, I did get her pregnant, but I love her. The beginning of our relationship was stressful, but I knew from the first time I met her that there was something more there… She is the one."

"You sure about that? Because there is a few blonde ones at that table over there that keep eyeing us."

Rick glanced over and sure enough three blonde girls were staring back at them. One of them waved and he waved back, and before he knew it they were joining them at their table.

"Brett we shouldn't."

"Lighten up, we'll flirt a little and buy them a shot, and then you can leave and I can take over. I need a wingman."

"30 minutes, and then I'm out."

"Fine, fine."

Thirty minutes turned into three hours and before Castle knew it he was way too drunk. He glanced at his phone, it was 1am, but no missed calls or text from Kate. Figuring she must be asleep already, he went ahead and paid the tab, and told Brett he was leaving.

"already man."

"Dude, I tried to leave at 10, its now well after midnight. I'm gonna get a cab."

"Would you like to share?" one of the blondes who had introduced herself as Amanda asked flirtatiously.

"No, I need to get back to my fiancé, and kids. But Brett buddy it was nice to see you, let me know next time you're in the city."

"Of course dude, and congrats on the new baby."

Xx

Kate was on the couch watching tv when she heard Rick rattling his keys outside the door. She hadn't been to sleep yet, although she had told him it was okay to stay out late she was still worried about him. When he came through the door she could tell that he was more then just a little under the influence.

"Hey babe." She stood up and walked towards him.

She was wearing the navy blue nightgown that Lanie had bought her, which she was a little unsure of at first, but after much deliberation she felt that she didn't want to wait any longer, she trusted him to be careful and respectful of her body.

"You're up? And you're dressed like that…" his eyes roamed her body.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his neck, "I wanted to surprise you and honestly I was about to give up and go to bed.. it's pretty late Rick."

She continued to place kisses on his neck, taking his ear lobe into her mouth as he babbled on. "I know, I'm sorry, Brett and I got carried away, I tried to leave around 10 and then he made me stick around and be his wing man. Which I don't think I'm any good at anymore. One girl even tried to leave with me after I had shown pictures of my newborn son. I forgot how desperate some women are."

"The only woman you should be worried about is trying to seduce you right now and you wont shut up."

"Oh, you want to have sex?" he looked shocked as he pulled his head back to make eye contact with her.

Her only response was to kiss him, so she did, and he quickly deepened it, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Bedroom babe.." she laughed as they broke apart.

He grabbed her ass and hauled her legs up and around his torso, making his way to the bedroom. He lowered her to the bed and crawled in over her, pulling her legs apart so he could rest between her thighs.

"It's not working?"

"what?" he asked as he propped himself over her.

"Things aren't moving along down there, this is what she warned me about, and I we don't have any lube."

"Hey, calm down." She was becoming panicky and he could tell that she wasn't ready, "Kate, if you aren't ready we don't have to."

"I want to, but she was right, my doctor told me things wouldn't be the same quite yet."

"We will wait."

"I want to do it." She pulled him back down over her and kissed him again.

"Well let me run down to the pharmacy down the street, I'll get some lube and we can try."

"It's too late, and you're drunk. I should have been better prepared."

"Okay, well let me go down on you, and we will see if I can help things out a bit."

She nodded in agreement, she was willing to let him try.

He pushed her nightgown up her body as he made his way down, kissing her breast and stomach on his decent, he pulled her panties off her legs and unlike any other time he had done it they were completely unsoiled.

He pulled her legs apart, and ran his tongue through her folds. It felt amazing just to be touched by him, and after a few minutes of work she could feel herself loosening up for him. When he felt the moisture, he slowly ran his fingers through her folds, his tongue still working on the bundle of nerves. He slid one finger in slowly and he could feel her tensing up immediately.

"Slower Rick."

He obeyed, and slowly pumped the finger in and out until she told him to add another. He slowly pumped a second finger in and within minutes she was moaning.

"I think I'm ready."

He kissed her pubic bone on the way up, running his hands up her sides until he was resting above her.

"You sure?" he asked and she nodded, running her hand behind his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

He pushed his pants off his body and she palmed him through his boxers, shoving at them to get them off quickly. When he was fully naked he ran himself through her folds, spreading her over him before slowly positioning himself at her entrance and sliding in.

"Slower Rick."

He kissed her as his hand ran between the two of them, working on her clit as he slowly pulled himself out and pumped back in.

"You okay?" he asked as he continued to pump in and out slowly.

"It hurts."

"You want me to stop?"

"No, just keep going slow, it's getting better."

He continued to move slowly over her and within a few minutes she was thrusting her hips upwards into him.

"Okay you can speed up." She urged him and he did, still trying to be as gentle as possible.

"Harder." She begged, as she ran her hands over his ass, shoving him into her.

"You sure?"

"Do I sound unsure?" she laughed, and he began to pump harder and faster.

"Does it feel okay Rick?"

"Babe, you feel amazing," he kissed her, "what do you need."

"Play with me a little more." And he ran his hand down between them again, his thumb making small tight circles over her clit.

"Just like that." She moaned as he continued to pump into her, "I'm almost there Rick, are you almost there, I want us to come together."

"You just tell me when, because right now it's taking everything in me not to let go."

He continued to work on her and as soon as she started to tighten around him, he let go, spilling into her.

He ran kisses over her shoulder and neck as he rest above her before pulling out and resting to her side, pulling her body into his.

"That was amazing Kate."

"Yeah, you weren't too bad yourself, and thank you."

"For…"

"For being sweet and making sure I was comfortable."

"That's my job."

He pulled the blankets up over them and she ran her legs in between his. She loved this man more then anything and was happy to make him happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Since they day the brought Carter home from the hospital Alexis had been obsessed with her baby brother. She was a doting big sister, always wanting to help take care of him. Alexis would beg to hold him, and beg to help change him. Things that Kate knew she couldn't do on her own, but she made sure to let Alexis help as much as possible.

The day before Alexis was to start back to school after winter break Kate found her standing next to Carters bassinet, running her hand over his belly as he kicked his feet up in the air.

"Carter, I have to go back to school tomorrow, but Mom and Dad will be here to take care of you. I promise when I get home I'll come straight to check on you. I'm gonna miss you so much during the day but I'll make sure to spend time with you after I get my homework done, and maybe Mom will let me help give you a bath if I eat all my dinner."

"I think she would do that." Kate spoke up, startling Alexis. Kate made her way to stand beside Alexis at the bassinet, wrapping her arm around Alexis' back and pulling her into her side.

"You will?"

"I think that as long as you are behaving at school and getting your work done…. and eating your vegetables, then you can help give Carter his baths."

Alexis' eyes shot from her baby brother up to Kate. "Can I kiss him goodnight."

"Of course you can bug."

Kate lifted her up over the side of the bassinet and she placed a soft kiss on his cheek, "Goodnight Carter."

Carter let out a tiny chuckle, and it was his first one. "Mom, did you hear that, he laughed at me."

"Yeah I heard, go get daddy."

Alexis ran out of the room to get her dad, and Kate started to kiss his cheeks hoping he'd do it again, but nothing came of it.

"I heard I missed his first laugh."

"It wasn't a full laugh, but a definite chuckle."

"Come on Carter, laugh for daddy." Rick blew a kiss on his cheek and sure enough he let out another small chuckle.

"Ahh, how did you do that?" Kate questioned him, pulling him up and away so she could see the baby.

"I blew on his cheek."

Kate leaned in and did the same and nothing happened.

"Maybe he is too use to your kisses."

Kate rolled her eyes, "I do shower him with them."

"Let the boy breathe, share them with me instead." He leaned over and kissed her quickly. Gaining a disgusted "Ewwww." From Alexis.

"Moms and Dads kiss too much, I don't ever want to do that."

"Can I get that in writing?" Castle swiped her off the ground, placing her on his hip.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I want you to swear you'll never want to kiss boys."

"Dad, you don't have to worry about that, I'll never kiss boys."

"Good," he bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek, "It's time for bedtime Lex, go get in bed, I'll be up to tuck you in."

"I want Mom to tuck me in tonight dad, you did it last night."

"Okay, well go jump in and pick out a book, I'll read a chapter and then you have to go to sleep, you have school tomorrow."

As Alexis left the room, Rick wrapped his arms around Kate and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I know we have been avoiding the planning, but I set up a few appointments for us this week, you have to make them, I'm not doing this on my own."

"Kate, you know I don't want to pick out flowers and cake, you can do that stuff with your mom, and my mom."

She ran her hand up his chest, "No way I could persuade you?"

"Yeah, one way."

"Not with sex."

"This has nothing to do with sex actually. I want you to leave the kids with your parents for one evening and go out with me."

"I can't do that yet, Carter has to be breast fed."

"You can pump for him, i'm asking for 4 hours, max."

"Rick, I don't know… I don't want to leave him yet, he is just too small." She looked down at her son who was starting to doze off.

"He'll be fine, babe. Just because you're a mom now doesn't mean you have to stay with your kids all the time."

"I enjoy my kids."

"and I admire that, but what about me? Don't I deserve quality time with you?"

"I'll give you quality time if that what you want Rick."

"I'm not talking about sex, I want a date, a real romantic, dress up, date."

"two hours."

"three, and you have a deal."

"Fine, you get me for three hours, Friday night. I'll ask my mom to come watch them, but I want to be home by 10 so that means an early dinner."

"Fine, but I suggest you pump a little before because we're having wine at dinner."

"I'll think about that part."

Xx

Jim and Johanna had shown up thirty minutes early so that Kate had time to show them where everything was (One of her demands)

"Kate, you know I've done this whole baby thing before right? I mean look, you turned out perfect."

"Mom, don't. I have to do this or I'll be thinking about him the whole time i'm gone. I don't want to be worried the whole time," She took a deep breath, pulling a piece of paper off the fridge, "So I made a list, pediatricians phone number, where we are eating, mine and Ricks numbers, even though I know you have them. The breast milk is all set, and if you have any trouble with him, just call, we will come straight home."

Just about that time Rick walked around the corner, "No we wont, because our phones will be on silent."

"No they wont." Kate glared at him, "Don't listen to him Mom, my phone will be on the table in front of me the whole time."

"Katie, the baby will be fine. Please do yourself a favor and take advantage of this night out. Don't stress about Carter, we have him taken care of."

"I don't even want to go out." She whispered to her mom, "he begged, and I know he needs it."

"So do you Katie."

"No, what I need.." She paused as Rick walked by her, waiting for him to pass before she started back up, "is to be with my son."

"What about your fiancé, doesn't he matter?"

"Of course he matters, but not as much as Carter does right now."

"Wrong answer. Carter and Rick are not in competition. If you plan on actually getting down that aisle, you better pay attention to your man."

"My man…," pfft… like he's going anywhere.

"I'm serious. You can't neglect him because you have a baby."

"I don't neglect him."

The sex… that had only happened twice in the last three weeks, since she had gotten the all clear, and the cuddling was rare. He might get to touch her when they were napping on the couch, but most of the time she slept with her back to him.

"You aren't wearing that to dinner are you?" her mom pointed at her jeans and button up blouse that she was wearing.

"Yeah, I had planned on it, why, what's wrong with it?"

"Kate, go put on a dress."

"I didn't shave my legs."

"Well then shave your legs and put on a dress. God, you are clueless."

"What? Mom, he is probably very aware that we aren't doing THAT tonight."

"You never know.."

"No, I know. It's just not happening. I feel gross, and my dresses probably don't even fit."

Her mother snatched the piece of paper out of her hand and started pushing her towards their bedroom, "Go, shave your legs and put on something sexy."

Rick walked back out of their room as Kate walked in, making eye contact with Johanna and receiving a wink from her.

"What was that for?" he asked, making his way to sit at the bar across from his future mother in law.

"I'm trying to kick her butt into gear. She needs to make a little effort, I mean you went out of your way to plan a date night."

"I know she doesn't want to go, but I think she needs to get out. So I'm gonna try my best to show her a good time."

"I told her to shave her legs and put on a dress, we will see how that works out."

"She doesn't have to dress up if she doesn't want to Jo. I don't care what she looks like, I just want her to enjoy her night out."

"Rick, she's 20 years old, most 20 year olds are out at the bar on a Friday night."

"Well she isn't most 20 year olds. She has a newborn and I understand that she doesn't want to leave him quite yet."

"You're a lot more understanding then I would be."

"Look…. Jo, it's just dinner, I'm not even going to pressure her to have a glass of wine with me. I know she doesn't want to, and my only concern right now is that she is happy."

Kate was listening to their conversation from the office, "God, why does he have to be so perfect all the time." She said to herself before rushing back into their room and kicking off her flats, replacing them with a pair of heels and then heading back out to the kitchen.

"Wow, babe. You look amazing." He smiled at her as she walked up.

"Dinner is at 7 right? We should probably go."

Her mother elbowed her in the side, "You can at least say thank you for the compliment." She whispered as she turned to head to the living room to watch tv with Jim.

Kate rolled her eyes at her mother, she needed to let them be, they didn't need her input.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, lets get out of here before she checks my legs." Kate said grabbing his arm and pulling him up off his chair.

Rick couldn't help but laugh at her attitude towards her mom.

"She means well Kate."

"Yeah, well she needs to mind her own business." She shot back at him, pulling him towards the door, "We'll be back by 10, hopefully before." She yelled at her parents as they walked out the door.

Xx

"You think they are okay?" She asked Rick for the fourth time since they had sat down as she checked her phone for the hundredth time.

"Kate, they will call if they need us, please relax babe. Carter is fine, he is probably still asleep." He reached over the table, resting his palm over her hand.

She tore her hand out from under his and took a drink of water, "Gosh would the waitress hurry up."

Rick was becoming extremely agitated at her lack of couth. He was trying to spend time alone with her, he made reservations at the most romantic restaurant in the city, and she was still unpleased.

"Ma'am, can you go ahead and take our order, we're in a hurry." She asked as she stopped their waiter.

"Uhh, sure.."

"Actually don't worry about it ma'am, I'm sorry to have wasted your time." He stood from his chair, placing his napkin down on the table and shooting Kate a glare. He had almost made it completely out the door before Kate grabbed her purse and went after him.

When she walked out of the restaurant he was getting into a cab, "Rick, wait…" she yelled and he spun around to look at her.

"For what? You've already ruined this whole evening, I tried Kate… I tried to be patient, I tried to be understanding." He slid into the back of the cab

"Where are you going?" she stormed towards him

"I don't know, don't wait up."

"Rick," She slid in next to him, "I'm going with you."

"Why? So you can ruin my night even more?"

The cab driver spoke up, "Where to?"

Kate threw out their home address before Castle had a chance to speak up, and the driver took off.

"I'm sorry Rick, I'm just anxious about leaving him. I didn't even want to go to this dinner, I tried, can't you just be happy I tried."

He didn't respond, instead he continued to stare out the window.

When the cab came to a stop outside of their building, Kate opened the door and slid out, "Come on."

"Shut the door, I'm not going in."

"Rick, stop being a baby."

"A baby? Kate shut the door."

"Where are you going?"

"Does it matter?"

"Fine, be a child." She slammed the door and took off towards their building.

Xx

When Kate entered the loft, her mother was feeding the baby, "Here, give him to me." Kate demanded as she sat her purse on the ground.

"Why are you home already? Where's Rick?" her mother asked as she handed the baby over and Kate took off for their bedroom.

"He stormed off like a child, I don't know where he went."

Her mother quickly got to her feet, following behind.

"What did you do?"

"What makes you think it's my fault? She said as she sat on the bed, dropping the strap her dress, and pulling it lower so that Carter could latch on.

"Kate…."

Kate was trembling, and the tears were filling her eyes, about to break free. She quickly slammed them shut and the tears ran down her cheek.

"He got mad at me."

"For what baby?" her mother took a seat beside her.

"I was rushing the waitress, we had barely sat down and I was rushing her, but I couldn't help it. I was anxious, and I didn't want to be away from the baby."

"The baby is fine, look, he is fine." She swept her hand over Carters arm, taking hold of his hand.

"I'm just not ready to leave him, Rick shouldn't have forced me too."

"Give me that baby and go find your fiancé."

"No, he'll be back. He just needs time."

"Fine, well.. I guess I'll go ahead and leave, Alexis is upstairs playing, you want me to get her to bed?"

"No, I'll take care of it as soon as I get him down."

Xx

When Jim and Johanna walked out the doors Jo noticed Rick sitting against the building out front.

"Rick, what are you doing out here."

His head shot up to her parents and he quickly stood up, "Thinking, breathing… trying to calm down before I go upstairs."

"She's just a new mother, it will go away."

"I know, but I miss her…. Look, you two shouldn't be involved in this, I'm sorry we wasted your time tonight. Thank you for watching them."

"Rick," She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, "I appreciate how much you love her, and you're a great father, and you'll be a great husband. She just needs her time to figure this out. Be patient with her."

"Ma'am, I'm trying, I really am."

"I know you are, and it was so sweet of you to plan this tonight, and she will see that in a few months, she just isn't ready yet."

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a hug, "I love you kid, thank you for taking care of her."

He nodded as she released him.

"Now go make up."

"Yes ma'am."

When Castle walked into the loft he heard Alexis giggling upstairs, so he decided he should check on her before talking to Kate. Walking down the hall to her room he started to hear Kate talking to her and when he approached her door he stuck his head around to peek in. Kate was lying on the bed with Alexis cuddled into her side, reading her a bedtime story. He stood there silently for a few minutes, watching Alexis nod off as Kate continued to read. After about five minutes the little girl was completely knocked out and Kate closed the book, sitting it on the nightstand and slid out from under Alexis, pulling her blanket up to tuck her in. He backed away from the door as she came towards it, shutting the light off as she walked out. She looked up as soon as she was about to run into him and jumped back.

"God, you scared me Rick."

"I'm sorry. You're a great mother, and a great partner, and I'm sorry."

"Oh.. babe, no. You are an amazing man." She placed her hands on his face and pulled him in for a kiss. "I'm the one that should be apologizing, you were so sweet tonight, you planned a night out for us and it was my fault, I'm just not ready to be away from the baby yet, but things will get better, I just need a little while longer to get use to the idea."

"It's our one year anniversary, since I called you my girlfriend for the first time to Alexis, and… I just wanted to do something special, to make tonight special, and I ruined it by not being patient enough with you, for walking out of dinner."

"It's our anniversary?"

"Of when we started dating, yeah."

"How did I not know this?"

"I mean we never made a big deal about it."

"But you remembered?"

"Of course I did, and this past year Kate.. It has been a whirlwind, ups and downs, we are getting married in 6 months, and we have a baby."

"We are a family. It's only been a year and we are a family." She wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tight, her head pressed to his chest. "I love you Rick, and I love our family, and I'm sorry for tonight, it won't happen again."

"I'm an ass Kate, I knew you weren't ready, I knew that you weren't excited to go out and I pressured you to leave him. Watching you with Alexis just reminded me of when she was a baby and I didn't want to leave her, and I had to for work one time, just for a day and I cried like a baby that night, alone in my bed. I know what it's like to miss your child, and I know what it's like to be so in love with someone that being away from him or her for even a small amount of time just absolutely kills you. That's how I feel when I'm without you. Tonight I had that taxi drop me off a mile or so from the loft and I just walked back. While I was walking all I could think about was how much I love you and our kids and how amazing my life is, and how stupid I was for being upset with you tonight. You weren't trying to hurt me, or piss me off. You just wanted to be with your child and I was criticizing you for it, making you feel bad. I don't ever want you to feel bad for wanting to be near our kids, or not wanting to leave them. I wont ask you on another date or make you go anywhere without him until you tell me your ready, okay."

She turned her head up towards his face and placed a kiss on his neck as she ran her hands up and down his back, "You are a good man, and I will be the luckiest girl in the world the day I get to call you my husband."

**Reviews are always appreciated, and if there is anything you would like to see happen go ahead and let me know. I'm going to need some help coming up with things to entertain you guys. Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Alexis had just gotten home from school and without even acknowledging Kate, she dropped her bag at the bottom of the steps and started up towards Carters room.

"Alexis Harper if I see you in his room before he wakes up you're gonna be in major trouble."

She nodded without responding, dropping her head and continuing up the stairs to her bedroom to play.

The truth is, Alexis couldn't stand to be away from him, when he was sleeping, when he was awake, and now that school had started back up it had gotten worse. She wanted to go into his room every day after school to see him, but that was usually when he was down for a nap.

Rick sat in his office, laptop perched on his legs that were resting on top of his desk when Kate walked in to the room, dropping to the couch and throwing her hands above her head, the tears streaming down her face as she lay quietly watching him write.

He finally heard her choke back a breath and looked over at her, taking his laptop and placing it on his desk and throwing his feet back to the ground. He stood up and walked over, pulling at her arms to make her stand up and then leading her to the bedroom.

"Kate, what's wrong?" he asked as he sat her on the edge of their bed, wrapping his arms around her.

"I can't do this. I just snapped at Alexis, over nothing, and I feel bad now, and I just don't know if I can do this Castle. I feel like I'm failing everyone, and I just…"

"Need sleep, you just need some sleep Kate, some peace and quiet, and I can get you that if you'll let me instead of fighting me every time I try to give you a break. We have my mother, and your parents, they will help, they will come watch the kids for an afternoon while we sneak away together."

"Okay."

"Okay? Wait… you're agreeing to a break."

"Don't make this harder then it has to be Rick." She scowled at him. It had been two months since the baby was born and she had argued with him every time the topic of leaving Carter for even a small amount of time had come up, but she was starting to realize that she was falling apart. She was miserable, tired, and in need of some time away, even if it was just for the afternoon.

"Okay, well I'll let you choose what you'd like to do and then I'll plan it. Would you like an afternoon, maybe a night away with Lanie? I can get you all a suite at a 4 star and you all can have massages and room service, a good night of sleep."

"I'd rather do it with you. I love Lanie, and that sounds amazing, but right now I want my fiancé, and I want to have a romantic night away, no crying baby to pull me out of your arms in the middle of the night."

A smile stretched across his face, and he held back a laugh. What she meant to say was that she wanted a night of un-interrupted lovemaking. Even if she didn't know that's what she needed, it was, and Rick had every intention of showing her a great night away from their children.

"Okay, you want to take the kids to your parents and we can stay here, or your parents can come to the loft and we can go get a hotel room somewhere for the night."

"I'd rather they come here. Everything the kids will need is already here, we wont have to pack anything up. It will be easier for me to leave him if I know he is safe at home."

He simply nodded and stood up from his chair, crossing the room to sit next to her on the couch. He pulled her body into his side and placed a kiss onto her hairline.

"I'm glad you're finally at your breaking point, you really need the time away Kate."

"I yelled at Alexis, and I should probably apologize for being so snappy with her these last few days. I haven't been a very good mom."

"You're a great mom to both of our kids, and you'll be even better after a night away."

"You think one night is just going to magically solve all of this.." She took a deep breath, "Because I feel like I'm drowning."

"Maybe you should see someone."

"Like a therapist?"

"Yeah, I mean you might find that they can give you some answers, or even reassurance that what you're going through is normal."

He wasn't going to mention post-partum depression; it wasn't his place… not yet. But, he might be able to get her to agree to see someone and then she would receive the answers she needed on her own. After all, he let her feel this out on her own. After his failed attempt at a date night, he decided that he was going to let her decide when she was ready for that break, and he would be there waiting.

"I'll think about it." she agreed, and that was a huge step. Rick had been a first hand witness to her antics as of lately. The mood swings, the snapping at him, and at times even Alexis, but not until she had just agreed to think about seeing someone did he really realize that she must be hurting inside, that something deeper was going on then he knew about.

"That's all I can ask. Now I'm going to call a few people, get something set up for tonight. I'll even call your mom and ask her if she would like to watch the kids. If not, we can always pull my mother in… we just might never get her to leave."

"Yeah, you call, I'll umm.. I'm gonna go pump as much as possible, then eat and Carter will probably be up by then so I'll feed him and get everything ready for the kids so that my mom doesn't have any trouble."

"Sounds good." He smiled and stood up, grabbing his phone from his desk and dialing Johannas number first.

"_Hey Rick, how are you this afternoon."_

"_I'm great Jo."_

Kate decided to get started on pumping so she made her way out of the office as he continued to talk to her mother.

"_You finally get that daughter of mine under control."_

"_As if that were even a real possibility. She wears the pants in this relationship, but she did have a small breakdown today, and she came to me, which is great. She wants a night away finally."_

"_I told you it would come. She just needed to decide on her own terms. I was the same way when I had her. I was in over my head and wouldn't accept the help that so many people were willing to give, but Jim let me decide when I was ready and things got better from there."_

"_Well, lets hope this works. She is pumping right now and then getting the kids things ready. I'd say be here around 5:30-6, and we are going to get a suite at a hotel tonight. We probably wont be home until after lunch tomorrow, is that okay?"_

"_That sounds great Rick. Thank you."_

"_Why are you thanking me? You're the lifesaver right now!"_

"_For being such an amazing man to my daughter, and such an amazing father. She is so lucky to have you."_

"_I'm the lucky one, you know how much I love here… even if she frustrates the hell out of me at times."_

"_Yeah, well… it's been twenty-three years with Jim and we still get on each others nerves.. sorry to tell ya, that never goes away."_

"_Figured as much." He laughed, "I'll see you in a few hours Jo."_

"_Sounds good."_

After ending his call with Johanna he made a call to a friend of his who booked them a suite for the night and couples massages in the morning after breakfast. He was going to make this night away the most relaxing night ever for her. He wanted to show her how nice it could be to take a break every once in a while and prove to her that she deserved it.

She found him in their bedroom, packing an overnight bag for the two of them.

"You packing my clothes too?"

"Yeah, hope you don't mind. We won't be going out in public so I assumed comfy clothes would be fine and of course I forgot the nightgown." He smirked, drawing a laugh from her.

"You hoping to get lucky?" she crossed the room, wrapping her arms around his neck as she came face to face with him.

"If all goes as planned, I'll be getting really lucky tonight, and so will you, my love." He winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

He was so impossible. She loved this man more then anything and she knew that he might have ulterior motives when it came to getting her away for the night. She didn't mind though, at least he was excited about their time alone, he could be on the other end of the spectrum, completely put out with her and wanting to avoid any alone time at all. But, no, not her fiancé.. he was perfect, and more supportive then she could have ever imagined.

She lifted up on her tiptoes, brushing a kiss across his lips and then lowering herself back down where she nibbled on his jaw, before whispering "Maybe you should pick out your favorite lingerie…" and then she turned away, and he watched her impossibly long legs as she made her way into the bathroom to take a shower.

When Kate came out of their room, her mother had already taken her crying son from his room and was rocking him in the living room. Rick had bought a rocking chair for the nursery before the baby was born but afterwards he noticed that she liked to keep him downstairs with her most of the time so he bought another rocking recliner for their living room.

"Hi mom."

Kate walked over and took a seat on the couch, watching her mother rock her son while he sucked on his pacifier.

"Hey honey, I think he's hungry but I didn't want to waste any of the pumped milk while you were still home."

"Yeah, good idea. I'll go ahead and take him upstairs.. change him and feed him before I leave. I need a little alone time with him before I go."

"Sounds good. I'll get dinner started for Alexis and myself. I think your father might come by after he leaves the office. He said he'd be late."

"That's fine. The guest room has clean sheets, and I made sure the bathroom has everything you'll need."

"You didn't have to do all that, we could manage on our own."

"You know I'd be stressed out if I didn't have everything ready. I have enough pumped to last through the night, but if anything happens and you need more.. just call, we wont be far and I can come back and feed him."

"I'm sure we will be fine, but I will definitely call or text if I need anything."

"Thanks for doing this mom, I know that you love being with them, but I still appreciate you taking the time out of your life to watch them for us."

"Anything for you.. Plus, I know you could really use the night away."

"He's only two months old, I thought I'd be able to last longer without a break."

"Everyone needs a break every once in a while, even from their kids."

"Yeah, well hopefully this will help me."

"Have you thought about seeing someone honey?"

"You've been talking to Rick haven't you…" she eyed her mother.

"Maybe, but he has your best interest at heart."

"Oh I know he does, and we have discussed it… I told him I'd think about it." She said as she stood to take her son from her mothers arms. "I'll go get him settled and then we will be out of your hair."

Rick heard her cooing at their son over the baby monitor from his office. He loved listening to her talk to their son. She was a great mother, a natural nurturer to both of their children. He laughed as he heard her explain to their infant son about how she was leaving and would be gone for the night. She talked to him almost as if he were responding to her. Reassuring the small baby that he would be safe and that his schedule wouldn't be changing, just that his grandmother would be the one taking care of him instead of mommy and daddy.

Carter was still on her breast when Alexis made her way into the nursery, walking over to where they sat and resting her arm over the arm rest to watch her brother eat.

"Did my mom feed me that way when I was a baby?" the little girl asked.

"I don't know Lex, you should ask daddy that. I wasn't there."

"I don't remember."

"Well you were just a baby, usually babies don't remember things like that."

"It seems weird."

"What does, honey?"

"That Carter eats like that sometimes, but then sometimes he eats out of a bottle."

"He only eats out of the bottle when I can't feed him, like tonight when we are gone, grandma is going to feed him with a bottle."

"Grandma can't feed him like that?" she said as she pointed to where her brother was attached to Kates breast.

"No, you have to be a new mommy to feed a baby like this."

"Grandma is your mommy."

"Yeah, and when I was a little baby she fed me like this."

"She did?"

"Yes ma'am.."

The little girl moved to the floor in front of the rocking chair and sat down, watching as Kate switched Carter to her other breast.

"I'm gonna miss you and daddy tonight, but dad said that you all need a vacation."

"Yeah, but just a small one, we will be back after lunch tomorrow, and you know you're allowed to call anytime you want."

She nodded, "I know, but I will only call before bed, and maybe when I wake up, so I don't bug you guys."

"You don't ever bug us baby girl."

"Dad says I bug him sometimes, when he is trying to write."

"Well he wont be writing, he will be cuddling with mommy the whole time."

"am I gonna have another baby brother?"

Kate laughed, "Not until this baby brother gets older. He is still a newborn, so maybe in a few years, maybe when he is your age."

"That's in a long time, right? Because I was a baby a long time ago."

"Yeah it will be a long time to you, but not for me." Kate laughed. She loved her baby, but pregnancy was not her best friend, she loved the product, but the process was harder for her emotionally then anything she had ever dealt with.

Rick knocked on the door frame and both of his girls looked towards him.

"Hey, you almost ready?"

"Yeah, when he is done, I'll be ready."

Rick simply nodded and reached his hand out for Alexis, "Come on baby girl, lets give mommy some privacy and we can go help grandma with dinner."

Alexis looked between her parents, holding her gaze on Kate for a second longer, "Dad, did my real mom feed me like that?"

"No baby, you were fed by a bottle, and formula."

"Why?"

"Come on, we can talk about this downstairs." He swung his hand out again, urging the little girl to leave with him.

"Fine, but I still want to know."

Both of her parents laughed as she stood up and took her fathers hand.

Her father led her down the stairs as he answered her questions about why she wasn't breast fed as a baby.

Johanna could hear the conversation and held back her laughter as the two made their way into the kitchen, Rick picking Alexis up and helping her onto the barstool.

"Grandma, what are we having?"

"We are having spaghetti, because I heard it's your favorite."

"I LOVE SPAGHETTI!"

"I told grandma you did."

"I love spaghetti too, Lex!"

"Do you make it with sausage like mommy does?"

"I sure do, she got her recipe from me."

"I love her spaghetti."

"Then I have no doubt you'll love mine as well." She smiled over at the little girl.

"Lex, honey, I need you to be a good girl tonight, and help grandma and grandpa with Carter, okay?"

"Okay! I can help them give him a bath, and I know where all his clothes are."

"Exactly, so when they ask you to do something or get something for them, no back talk."

"I wouldn't do that to grandma."

"You do it to me all the time."

"Well… not when it is for my brother, I'll do everything for my brother."

"That's very sweet Alexis. You're a good big sister." Johanna encouraged.

"Yes she is, she is the best big sister." Kate said as she finished walking down the stairs, "and tonight she is going to be very helpful since mommy and daddy are going to be gone."

"Yup!" The little girl mumbled as she shoved a baby carrot into her mouth.

"Babe, you ready?"

"Yes I am," he smiled over at her, "just let me grab the bags and we are off!"

Xx

When Rick opened the door to the suite Kate was surprised to see that Castle hadn't pulled all the strings. There were no roses or champagne in sight.

"Welcome to our home for the night." He said, placing his hand on her lower back and ushering her in.

"Wow, no champagne or flowers." She laughed, "So unlike Richard Castle."

"I was afraid to make it a romantic setting, I mean our sole purpose for being here is rest and relaxation, I didn't want you to get the wrong impression, or feel like I was trying to get you away t seduce you."

Kate continued to stare at him as he rambled on, "You done babe?" she laughed, "I think you're sweet, and this is perfect." She said as she approached him, running her hand up his chest, latching her mouth to his as she wrapped her arm around his neck to pull him to her."

"I didn't order roses or champagne, but we are having a catered meal, they will drop it off at around 7:30, which is…" he looked down at his watch, "about 30 minutes away."

"Is what I'm wearing okay, should I have brought something dressier?" she questioned nervously, and he placed another kiss on her mouth.

"What you're wearing is fine, it's just you and me, for what 18 hours or so.. No stress, no worries, no kids.."

"Rule number one, don't mention the kids." She laughed.

"Right." He smiled at her.

After dinner, they cuddled up in the king size bed, Kates half way laying on top of her fiancé.

"This is almost too peaceful Rick."

"but isn't it nice."

She ran her hand down his chest and over his abdomen, as she neared his groin her jerked, his hand grabbing hers and intertwining their fingers.

"Oh, playing hard to get?"

"I told you this isn't about sex."

"Oh really?" she tore her hand from his placing it on his chest and pushing her body up and throwing her leg over his body, so she came to straddle him.

His eyes were focused on hers, and she rotated her hips, pressing herself down onto him. "Kate, stop."

"Stop? So…" she leaned down and kissed him, "lets say, if I wanted to ride you all night, you wouldn't let me?" she pushed herself back up, smirking down at him.

"Kate, we came here to rest, to get sleep."

She pulled her shirt up over her head, tossing it to the ground. "I don't want sleep, I want you…"

"Oh really?" he laughed, "since when have you wanted me anywhere near that area of your body?"

"Since right now.. I can already feel how hard you are."

"Well, that's because my fiancé is really hot, and she keeps touching me, and rotating her hips over my….. man parts." His breath faltered as she once again rotated her hips over him.

"Man parts? Really Rick?" she laughed.

"What do you want me to call it? Actually, just hurry up and get naked."

"First… you." she said as she began to scoot down his legs until she was kneeling between them, working on his zipper, and then pulling them off his legs. She then made her way to his boxers, pulling them over his hips, his erection springing free. She took him in her hand and began to pump her hand over him slowly, leaning over him she pressed her tongue to the head of his penis.

"Oh my God." He moaned

Xx

As they made their way down the hallway to their front door, Kate intertwined her fingers with Ricks, pulling him to a stop, and lifting up on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his mouth.

"Thank you babe, for last night, and this morning, and just taking care of me, and our family." She started to look down at her feet when he grabbed her chin and pushed it back up so that his eyes could meet hers.

"You are the most important thing in my life.. you and those two kids right inside that door, you always will be, and I will always take care of you. I just want you to promise me that you'll let me. When I say take a break… you take a break, even if it's just for a few hours. You deserve to be happy, and overworking yourself, and stressing yourself out wont accomplish that, okay?"

She nodded. "Now can I see my baby?"

He laughed and pushed her ahead of him, swatting her butt as she made her way to the door.

This woman was and always has been impossible.

**Hope you enjoyed, sorry I haven't been updating much. School has been so overwhelming, just haven't had the time to write. Reviews are always nice!**


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